


Luke Skywalker: Sith Magnet

by Melleniaofwaiting



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Adventures In Space, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Future, Becuase I haven't watched them, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dark Leia Organa, Fluff and Crack, Force Ghosts, Humor, I don't know what else to tag, Immortal Leia Organa, Immortal Luke Skywalker, Jedi, Jedi Luke Skywalker, Luke adopts four Sith, Luke is a Sith magnet, Not As Bad As It Seems, SHENANAKINS, Sith, Sith Leia Organa, Stupidity, Swearing, The sequels never happened, and later also a kid, hah!, might turn gay i haven't decided, that will be explained later, there were other stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23042104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melleniaofwaiting/pseuds/Melleniaofwaiting
Summary: Luke Skywalker, a powerful, immortal jedi, somehow through actions both sincere and idiotic, accidentally wakes up four Sith who have been in stasis for the last hundred years. He then decided to keep an eye on them and becomes their ride off the mining planet they're stuck on and take them to the Dark  Nexus.Or something like that. Luke wasn't actually listening. He was eating a sandwich.These are the cracky, sometimes angsty but mostly cracky, adventures of Luke Skywalker and the four Sith he adopted-I mean the four Sith who are completely in control of their hostage.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker & Han Solo, Luke Skywalker & Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker & The Force, Luke Skywalker/Original Character(s), Obi-Wan Kenobi & Luke Skywalker
Comments: 10
Kudos: 140





	1. Chapter 1

Luke had been minding his own business. This was not his fault. He refused to take any blame for what happened. How was he supposed to know this would happen?

He had just been stopping at a remote planet at the edge of the outer rim to refuel after a successful mission. Nothing wrong with that, is there?

Honestly, he had been hungry and thirsty. There had been at least nine hours to kill waiting for repairs and refueling. Of course, he had gone to the local pub. Of course, he listened to the bitter man at the back who told him his sob story about how an excavation went wrong and how he had lost countless friends.

Of course, he listened to the man who accidentally stumbled upon an ancient Sith temple.

And of course, he had gone to investigate said ancient Sith Temple because he was Luke fucking Skywalker. Dumbass ideas were his specialty. Plus, he had time to kill.

Why not go investigate without bringing any supplies or weapons besides his lightsaber? It wasn't like he was going to go deep into the temple. It wasn't like he was going to get trapped in the temple for an undetermined amount of time.

He was just going to go into the entrance and scope it out with the force to see what kind of threat it held for the natives of the planet, nothing more. 

Luke really should have done more research on who the mining company who had discovered it was. He also really should have suspected something when the term 'mining company' was used. He should have asked for names.

Nearly a thousand years later and the Black Sun was still actively mining spice.

And where there was illegal spice mining taking place, there were illegal explosives and weak support beams. 

He should have been more aware of his surroundings and less naïve because, of fucking course, something would go wrong.

After all, explosions are bad for infrastructure. Even thousands of years old Sith temple structure, which is made of super-secret Sith stuff, like darkness and the tears of small children gathered during the darkest of nights and the blood of enemies or some concoction to that effect.

...So maybe he might have a concussion, he dazedly thought as he stared up at the hole where the floor had given up its battle with gravity.

With a pained groan, Luke got up and made his way through the temple.

The dark energy of the temple pressed against his at all sides, giving him a terrible headache and a terrible feeling of being watched, judged.

Walking through the temple, he couldn't help but wonder if it had once been beautiful. Luke had found that usually the most dreary of places had almost always been beautiful once. It was like the universe decided that every good thing should be corrupted. Like many force temples, the lightsaber burns and slashes on the walls attested to the fact that something terrible happened here. The rubble, slumped skeletons and a general feeling of horror and fear also might have played a factor in it. 

Luke looked away from a tiny hand underneath a large piece of rubble and sped up his pace. 

Finally, he got to a door.

Laying his hand on it, Luke closed his eyes and reached out with the force, prying the old door open.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped through the door and looked around.

It was a large room with no doors. Carvings lined the walls and ceiling in a spiraling circle that never ended. Pipes and cables lay on the floor, flowing to the center in which stood sixteen coffin-like...things.

Luke had no idea what they were but they looked ominous. To his left stood a control panel, most of it fried beyond use. He walked over and started to fiddle around. Maybe he would be able to find a holo or something to tell him what happened here. Or a neat little 'this does this and that does that' type of thing. 

He hissed and jerked his hand away as one of the panels sparked and shocked him. He tripped and nearly fell over, managing to barely steady himself on one of the broken panels, sharp pieces of metal cutting into his palm. The only consolation he had was that it thankfully it wasn't his mechanical hand, getting a replacement would be hell. 

Except, the panels might not have been as damaged as first thought if the sudden whirring behind him was any indication. Or it could have been the screeching of metal. Or the sudden thumps against durasteel.

Luke turned slowly towards them, now conveniently shown to be stasis pods. Mostly because two people fell out, a third was trapped inside a half-open one. The fourth person blew the door off his stasis pod. The two people who got out first connected with the force and helped pry the door off on the third pod.

Well. Fuck.

What did he just get himself into?


	2. Meeting your new unwanted roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which two of our dear new Sith companions are introduced, Luke is a Sassy dumbass who hates stairs and should really eat more because he gets picked up a lot.

There were four Sith on Luke's ship and he didn't know what to do.

After they escaped their... capsules, Luke had been in the awkward position of having four pairs of sickly yellow eyes trained on him. Staring at him. Probably judging him too.

They had started arguing among themselves and Luke had taken the opportunity to walk away. Because he should - and did - know better than to deal with these types of situations. He almost got away too. Sadly, he was picked up by the collar from behind by a blue skinned female and dragged back.

They glared at him, as if he was the weird one.

"Where do you think you are going?"

Sometimes Luke was very thankful for getting a Universal translator implanted. It made life so much easier. Other times he regretted not being able to fake being confused.   
He could still act stupid though.

"Away. "

The one in charge arched an eyebrow.   
Damn. An eyebrow lifter. Not good. Luke had found that Sith with large amounts of sass were often very powerful. Palpatine was a great example of that. Palpatine was very ugly though.

"I'm not sure whether you are particularly stupid or extraordinarily brave but you will do."

The Sith leader turned and walked away, in the direction of the path Luke came from.

"Mind putting me down now? " Luke asked with a hopeful smile.

She dropped him like a sack of potatoes and walked after her leader with a disgusted noise.

He shook his head and followed them as they walked back the way they came. Then their leader stopped at a random wall and pushed in a random piece of durasteel and wallah!

A door.

With more twisting corridors, rubble, the occasional corpse Luke couldn't help wrinkling his nose at and worst of all:

Stairs.

So, so many stairs.

An inhuman, unethical amount of stairs.

It was heretical, Luke swore.  
Because these many stairs were a violation of the force, the galaxy and possibly a law somewhere too.

So. Many. Stairs.

Force damn it.

Luke was fit for his age! _There were just so many stairs._ This must one of the Sith torture methods he had heard so much about.

...He should probably stop skipping leg day.

That isn't the point though.

The point is that after they climbed the truly evil amount of stairs, they came to a dead end corridor and Luke was pretty sure they were going to try to kill him.

That didn't happen. Instead their leader blew up the wall and walked out onto the sunshine as if he owned it, his people walking calmly behind him.

Darth ducks in a row.

He thought about turning back and going the other way, because this was going to lead to a whole lot of crazy but the force had different plans.   
More precisely the Sith leader who wields the force had other ideas. He grabbed Luke by the collar like a kitten and pulled him through the hole.

Which led to them following him back to his ship.   
Where they were currently poking at Luke's stuff with an air of distaste.

"Where are we?" Their leader asked.

So far, Luke knew his name. Mostly because the Sith had introduced himself as "Darth Volks, you may call me Lord Master Volks".

Luke conveniently forgot the master part.

Volks was a human man appearing to be in his late fifties. He could have been younger or older of course, the long white hair hanging at neck length managing to throw off Luke's estimate a bit but he couldn't have been too far off.

Volks had a crooked nose, thick dark brows over slightly wrinkled eyes and thin lips.

"What no use of the word 'peasant?'" Luke sassed.

One of others hissed at him.

"Velene, Control your sister!" Volks snapped.

Velene, the Sith who had picked Luke up by his collar, slapped her friend over the head.

Velene was a Chiss of strong build. Tall and heavily muscled, she easily towered above both him and Volks. Not that Luke was very tall to begin with.

"We're currently on Caric." Luke said.

"I know that you fool, where on Caric?"

"Mining colony. They harvest some type of mineral here. Don't exactly know what." he continued.

Volks eyes remained unimpressed.   
Luke sighed.

"Listen, I just came to refuel and fix up my ship. I don't know exactly where we are and I frankly don't care."

"What's the date?"

Luke pulled up the date on the holo table where it proudly displayed its numbers.

** Day 122 of ABY 1128 **

_'A lot can happen in a thousand years,'_ Luke thought.

There were so many systems of Official time keeping and they changed so many times...

Sometimes it was just easier to keep by what you know. Even if it was a tad odd to others.

The Sith seemed to know what was what though.

"Well, my apprentices. It would seem a hundred years have gone by without our notice. "

Suddenly, four pairs of Sith eyes were on him.   
Luke gulped.   
Volks smiled.

And that was the story of how Luke gained four new, very unwanted passengers off Caric.


	3. Darth Volks and the inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pov switch and then the introductions are finally made.   
> Sith conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You would not believe your eyes If I told you this was originally supposed to be a drabble series...  
> where did I go wrong with my life?

One week later and they were finally off Caric. Turns out the repairs were a lot more severe than the mechanics first suspected.

Which, Luke would admit, was a bit embarrassing. Or maybe it wasn't but the stares drilling into him were... Not great.

Luke didn't know why the Sith stayed with him but they did. Luke was torn between feeling relieved by the fact that no other pilot had to deal with their...Sith-iness and feeling a deep dread mixed in with a lot of confusion.

And, unfortunately, not only did they stay with him, they seemed determined to follow him everywhere. Literally everywhere.

If not all of them, they usually went in pairs of two.

Currently, Luke was picking up the last of the supplies needed because his previous estimate was shot to hell with four new unexpected passengers to feed.

Some of who apparently had allergies.

At least they were useful. They kept most of the thieves, murderers and other dangerous scum off him.   
Menacing Sith glares were great when they weren't focused on him.

Not that he was intimidated. Luke was just really tired and really not in the mood to start a fight.

He boarded his ship, the Aldertoine, a hover-cart floating in front of him.

His companion of the day was Velene and thankfully only her.   
It had been decided that it would be best for the other two to stay on the ship with Volks after the disastrous incident that nearly got a store vendor killed.

After their first meeting, formal introductions had been made.   
Velene, he had already known.

Garlum, a... Luke wasn't quite sure. He might have been dathomirian. Luke wasn't going to ask.

All he could say was that Garlum was angry, tall and pale. He had scars all over his face and a near-constant look of distaste.   
He probably scowled in his sleep too.

He had a lovely mop of red hair on his head though, which was... Odd.

Then there was Amira. He didn't quite know what to say about her. He didn't think she was all there, to be honest. She had a half crazy half vacant look in her eyes that... Not so much scared him as made him very wary.

After storing the crate full of supplies in storage, Luke made his way to the cockpit. He sat down and started doing the pre-flight checks. There shouldn't be anything wrong -he spent a lot of credits on repairs after all- but sometimes it did well to make sure, especially with his luck.

He made it a point to not tense when a hand came to rest on the back of his seat.

Volks leaned forward over his shoulder, scanning the horizon. The sun was rising. Luke looked at it. It was rather pretty.

"Are we good to go pilot? I would rather not stay on this rock too much longer. "

"Yeah, just going through the preliminary checks. Unless something else comes up- which it shouldn't - we should be off in a few minutes."

Volks nodded and went to tell the others to strap in for the flight before joining Luke in the cockpit a few minutes later.

***

Volks walked away from the cockpit and made his way to the living quarters. He passed the kitchen and gestured for Garlum to follow him.   
The ship wasn't overly small but nor was it the large battleships he was use to.

Volks was a man of strategy. Not to say he was not of fiery temper when angered but he was mindful of discipline and the fact that there was a time for patience and a time for action. When his temper was stirred, however...

The less said, the better.

Garlum was one of his former apprentices and whilst he had gained none of the characteristics Volks wished him to possess, he was loyal.

So loyal in fact, that without that loyalty, Volks doubted he would be alive today.

He knocked on the door to the living quarters before entering.

As said before, the ship whilst not humongous was not small. The two women shared a room and the two men shared a room, with the doors facing each other. The space in the middle served as a sort of common room.

Amira and Velene sat, reading, on the room's hideous yellow furniture.   
It's only saving grace was that they were wonderfully stuffed and comfortable enough to sleep on.

They sat up as the two Sith entered and Volks took his place standing behind one of the yellow abominations.

Garlum sat down and made himself comfortable.

With his students' full attention on him, he started his impromptu meeting.

"My apprentices, I have called you here because as I have just been informed, we will be leaving this planet behind in a few short minutes. I have been advised that we should all retreat to our rooms as a safety precaution for take-off. Once we are outside the planet's gravitational pull, you may resume your previous duties. I will be in front with our Captain if an emergency arises."

"Seems reasonable. Why, however, are we being sent to our rooms like naughty children, Master?" Amira asked sarcastically.

"Our captain has informed me prior to this that Caric has grown unstable in recent years. The magnetic pull will shake the ship like a child's favorite rattle." He sighed.

"Now, to the true reason why I have called you all here. Once we breach atmosphere, we will be briefly detained by the planet's government. It should not take too long to get passed, as our pilot has said he will handle it." He gave them a stern look. "Whilst there was no deception in his words, I do not trust him. Be on your guard and do not attract attention. I expect you all to be on your best behavior."

Velene snorted. "When have we not been perfectly well behaved since this mess started? Frankly, I'm starting to tire of it."

He glared at her. "Careful Velene. Do not disobey me."

She smiled a nasty smile. "Wouldn't dream of it master."

"Why are we trusting this human?" Garlum spat.

Amira looked at him with distaste.

"Have you not been listening? It's what this whole meeting has been about! Too busy licking our master's boots, I reckon."

She laughed as Garlum snarled at her. 

Volks sighed, catching the attention of the two squabbling Sith. He gave them all a withering look, making them both go quiet.

Garlum shifted in his seat before braving the danger his master presented.

"Master, why do we not simply kill him and take his ship? It would be all too easy, as he is weak and squishy. Not much of a threat." He asked hesitantly.

The others looked at him and Volks felt irritated by all the questions. His apprentices should know better than to question him, however, he would let it slide this time. The question itself was not of the nature that he could not share.

"There is something... off about of dear captain. I cannot put my finger on it. There is more to him than meets the eye. It could be nothing or it could be something... dangerous. Whether it be to us or our enemies is yet to be seen."

He shook his head before dismissing them before they could ask more questions.

They disbanded and headed for their rooms.

Volks cast his eye upon the room at the end of the hallway. It belonged the Luke the pilot.

Despite everything, no one had ever seen what was inside, no matter how hard he tried to peer inside. It was as if his eye would not focus upon it, making it seem blurry.

Whilst he burned with curiosity as to what lay inside, he decided it would be best to leave that for now.

There were other suspicious things about him too.

Luke had not given him a last name and he had not asked, even if he was sure he had one.

Volks mind strayed back to the oddity of the room. There could be something damning against the pilot inside or there could be nothing. However, since Volks does not even have the ability to peer into it, he could not tell.

Which brings him to the real crux of the matter.

Luke did not appear to be force sensitive at first glance. If one ere to focus on it, however, there was a faint force presence about him. It was deeply troubling, as the only way to free them from the stasis chambers was by someone exceeding a certain amount of midichlorians.

The specified amount, whilst not unreachably high, was not low by any sum of the imagination. It would mean that it had malfunctioned. Which led him to the conclusion that their pilot had quite possibly saved their lives. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

The chambers could not have been opened by someone with such weak force presence.

If he didn't know otherwise, he would claim is laughable.

Still, things were not adding up and their host was even stranger.

Who even kept time with the Battle of Yavin anymore?

No, things certainly weren't adding up.   
He reached the cockpit and sat down next to Luke before buckling up. Soon they were in the air and heading towards the stars.

He would find out what secrets their mysterious pilot harbored or else he was not Darth Volks the Patient.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To summirise:  
> Luke: These Sith think they're scary but they really aren't. It's just that I would prefer it if You kept Garlum a safe distance away from me as he is tol, muscley and violently angry. Also velene because she is tol and big and intimidating. also, Amira isn't scary but she is also crazy and probably homicidal. Also, Keep Volks away because he seems the scheming, dangerous sort. haha not scary at all. Let's go lesbians.
> 
> Volks: Everything you heard? Completely true.  
> This meeting? My idea. These things? True.  
> also, wtf is up with our pilot????  
> Yeah,the the machine probably got busted. Haha...unless?
> 
> garlum: *done with his life*


	4. Volkes really hates hyperspace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they finally leave Caric and all the fun can actually start happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I feel sort of guilty. I promised crack but these chapters, especially this one isn't very cracky. Oh well. The next one will blow your socks off.

Take off, was indeed, rather bumpy. In other words, the ship shook like it was in an earthquake.

Besides Luke, Volkes had sat like a calm statue, breathing softly. The only thing that had given him away had been the death grip he had on the armrests. 

Luke, on the other hand, was smiling widely, a fact that did not seem to put Volkes at ease. Luke had taken off of much worse places in much worse circumstances. He had had a lifetime of training and experience to help him keep calm.

The shudders started to lessen until everything smoothed out and they were out of the planet's pull and in the peace of open space.

"One good thing about the planet's rather bumpy atmo' is the fact that, in trying to compensate, the planet's ships are some of the best in the galaxy." 

Volkes startled as Luke suddenly filled the silence. He looked at Luke, who was looking at the vastness of space with a soft smile on his face.

He cleared his throat.

"Is that so? I was not aware Caric had a ship factory."

"It's where a lot of the locals work. It's on the Northern part of the planet."  
Volkes side-eyed him. "I also don't remember the planet having such a rocky atmosphere." He twitched. "Forgive the pun."

Luke huffed and gave a quirk of the lips that transformed into a grimace.

"It's the planet's third moon, Zitora... or should I say, what's left of it. It was blown up about thirty years ago. Completely fucked up the planet. It was terrible."

He closed his eyes and shook his head. 

"It was a terrible act. Most of the current generation doesn't even know what the third moon looked like besides in pictures." Luke said softly. "In a hundred years from now, they might not even know there use to be a moon there..."

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Luke went back to the controls and moved them in the direction of a giant space station.

"I'm sorry." 

Luke startled as a hand came to settle on his shoulder.

He followed it up to Volkes' eyes. He gave him a wobbly smile.

"Thank you. You have no need to apologize though, you weren't responsible. And the people of Caric suffered far more than I ever did."

"Still," Volkes said. "I am sorry."

As they came closer to the space station, their communication system crackled. Luke pushed a button on the display and a voice came through clear as water.

"Hail ship XC263692064. Send clearance code and state your business."

"Hey Command, sending codes now." He pushed a few buttons.

"Clearance received. Board ship in hanger B174."

Volkes sat tense as Luke moved the ship to the hanger area.

Luke glanced at him.

"Calm down. It's just a routine check. They won't come on board. You're perfectly safe. They'll scan the ship and we'll be off."

Volkes gave a tense nod but stayed silent.

They flew through the ship's hangar doors and docked at the designated spot one of the workers motioned at.

Luke got up and walked to the ramp door. He opened it and walked out, Darth Volkes on his heels.

They were met by a middle-aged man in a dark uniform. He was holding a clipboard, looking bored. 

"Bussiness?"

Luke gave a bright sunny smile.

"Me and my companions merely stopped here for repairs and fuel. Going to Naboo to pick up some merchandise."

He made a noncommittal noise as Luke handed over a bundle of five ID's and a datapad.

He checked them over before handing them back.

"Everything looks to be in order. The scan should be over in a minute. You may depart after."

***

As they departed the space station and Luke was busy activating the ship's hyperdrive, Volkes took the time to look over the ID's. He lifted an unimpressed eyebrow.

"Volkes Masters? Amira Homisid? Garlum Red? Valene Valerious? You couldn't have come up with anything better?"

"You try to come up with last names to people who claim they don't have them." He said defensively.

"What kind of name is Luck Cloudswimmer? You couldn't have come up with a better fake name for yourself?"

"Hey!" Luke gave him an offended look. "That is my real name! I just prefer 'Luke' is all."

Volkes gave him a doubting look but didn't argue. "Of course."

He looked out at the flashing blue of hyperspace.

''How in the name of Sith did those people fall for those names? Also, no one questioned the fact that there are four new people on a foreign ship who weren't on it before?"

"I'm good at what I do. People are prone to giving their kids weird names. Plus, I know the official. His name's Dave Diorpdala. Did him a favor or two and now he makes sure things go as smoothly as they can in certain parts of the galaxy.''

''Didn't look like you knew each other. He doesn't look very impressive either." He gave Luke a questioning look.

"Man's a lot more impressive than you think. His wife is on the grand council and his kid's a musical prodigy. Dave himself is a general. Takes his orders directly from the grand council and has quite a large fleet at his beck and call."

"If he's so powerful, how do you know him?"

Luke sighed and rubbed at his eyes. "Ask me later. It's a long story and I'm tired. It's been a long day."

"All right."

They settled in to watch the stars flash by a blue void. It was beautiful, inspiring a sense of peace Volkes was not used to. Soon, however, he quickly grew nauseous. He was, unfortunately, a sufferer of Hypersickness. 

"Excuse me." He said as he got up and went to his room for a lie-down. He really hated hyperspace. 

He never did ask Luke about how he met that unassuming middle-aged man. He was too busy throwing up in the ship fresher to remember to.


End file.
